"Hilarious Vampire story!"
Dragomir Aleksander Falcau, a minor Margrave from
Transylvania, is an Immortal in the eighteenth century.
Quite pleased with his life, he can eat and screw and feed
whenever he wants. Also, he is very proud of his lovemaking
abilities, unfortunately, his partners never vividly
remember the act. They wake up satisfied, but with a hazy
memory of the actual act itself. Oh well, can't have
everything. Antonia "Toni" Hanson is spending the weekend with her
college chum, the woman who now wants to be known as
Mercedes. Mercedes is a scientist, she also manages to brew
a good batch of mead. The two of them are "indulging" this
weekend, and not only in the mead, they're also eating junk
food galore and are quite happily sloshed. Well, Mercedes
decides to pull out the ol' Ouija board and the both of
them are pretty surprised when it spells out DRAGO. Not
only is Mercedes a scientist, she also has an interest in
the occult. While finding the recipe for the mead, she ran
across a scrying spell. Now's a good time to try it out,
sadly, she can't say the words properly, so she hands the
spell over to Toni. She's willing to give it the old
college try, so Toni says the words over the bowl of the
water once, twice and a smoke arises. That's not all that
happens, Mercedes also passes out. So she decides to try it
one more time and poof! There's a naked man in front of
her. A really handsome naked man. Who is this mysterious naked stranger and where did he come
from? Is he just an hallucination? When the buzz wears off,
will he disappear? SUCKS TO BE YOU is a hilarious twist on the time travel
theme. Sahara Kelly has also added a bit of a twist to the
vampire legend with this one. True to her style, Sahara
Kelly keeps us laughing throughout this story, from
Mercedes substituting cannabis for the eye of newt in the
mead, to Drago's reaction to peanut butter. If you enjoy
Sahara Kelly's stories as much as I do, you definitely
don't want to miss this one!
Reviewed by Chere Gruver
Posted January 18, 2007
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The world of eighteenth century Transylvania is kind to vampires. (Or Immortals as they prefer to be called.) Food is plentiful, women are willing, and it's all fun and frolic if you're a neck-biting, blood-sucking dynamo in bed. Dragomir Aleksander Falcau fits all the criteria, and enjoys the hell out of his life until... Toni Hansen is spending a few days with a friend who has an urge to create something unique. Ancient mead recipes and Twinkies are most definitely going to be involved, along with some of those pink, coconut-covered puffy cakes. Unfortunately, a scrying bowl and an ancient chant are also accidentally included in the evening's entertainment. Drago is "summoned" from his slumber into Toni's buzzed fantasies. And for one confused eighteenth-century Immortal and one seriously smashed twenty-first century woman, things go from bed to worse... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Genre(s): Paranormal, Humor and Satire
Theme(s): Vampires
Length: Novella
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