J. M. Jeffries
Jacqueline S. Hamilton is the proud owner of twenty-seven shades of red lipstick.
Though she considers herself a happy person, Jackie fights daily with her envy issues. She considers herself a workaholic/procrastinator and would rather lay on the sofa patting her tummy, teaching Miriam's dog how to smoke, and then lie about it. She is passionately enamored of Steven Spielberg's Animaniacs.
Jackie decided to write romance novels because she can't sing, can't dance, it doesn't involve high math, or high heels. She also believes the body God intended to give her was misplaced on Jennifer Lopez. Jackie doesn't exercise because she believes the eleventh commandant is "Thou shall not sweat," which is why she doesn't have a body like Jennifer Lopez. The sands of time have gotten caught in the middle of her hour glass figure.
Miriam Pace is the only woman in the world with her own hand cream collection, which she uses everywhere on her body except her hands. Hergreatest beauty secret is lip balm for the elbows. She has the refinement of aVictorian lady, the intelligence of a Nobel Prize Laureate, and, when the stars are straight and the moon is full, the vocabulary of a truck driver. She has been known to level mountain ranges with the lift of an eyebrow. But friends consider her generous, warm and a closet dominatrix.
She is known as the curator of the Pace Zoo. At any time, one can find sheep in her backyard, a German Shepard mix breed dog who thinks she's a cat, a Queensland heeler who tries to herd everything on two and four feet, kamikaze koi with an attitude, a Persian who needs Prozac, and a Bengal cat who prowls the house pretending to be the 'real' thing.
She knew she was destined to be a writer when she started receiving her first rejections in high school, and decided something was wrong with the editors and not her. Acknowledged as the Goddess of All Things, Miriam is the first person everyone turns to when they need a decision. She has been accused of making up Jackie's mind for her.
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