Bound to Love Her
May 1, 2008
Available: May 6, 2008
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Esri Rose

Esri Rose attended the University of Missouri in Columbia, graduating magna cum laude with a BA in Radio-TV-Film. Student film subjects included a superhero who specialized in carrying groceries. After college, she wrote and produced ads for radio and television.

During her post-advertising career, Rose sold personalized letters from Santa. Later she opened letters written to Santa by a determined schizophrenic, who mailed them to the National Potato Promotion Board, where Rose worked at the time. In a memorable stint at the Homebrewers Association, she demonstrated her capering skills in a turkey mascot suit. It was hot inside, and smelled of beer.

Leaving the corporate world, Rose opened a small skin-care business, where she alternately slathered soothing goo on women’s faces and ripped hair out of their private parts. One of her most valuable tools was a fund of anecdotes that took clients’ minds off the “minor discomfort” of waxing. When she told a client she was selling the business but would find a competent replacement, the client replied, “I won’t keep it up when you go. I mostly come to hear you tell stories.”

Bound to Love Her is the first of two contracted books about elves in Boulder, Colorado. Esri Rose lives there with her husband and her cat, only one of whom has pointy ears.

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