February 1, 2008
Available: February 19, 2008
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Kristopher Reisz

In tenth grade, I was assigned Return of the Native in English class. A quarter of the way through Thomas Hardy's masterpiece, I made my smartest decision to date–to never, ever open any book assigned in class again and spend my time reading whatever I wanted. This included plenty of X-men comics and horror novels, but I also managed to fit in some Kafka and Poe, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, a healthy sampling of the Beat poets, Maus, Harlan Ellison and Ray Bradbury, Catcher in the Rye, To Kill a Mockingbird, and A Clockwork Orange among others.

While still in high school, I decided my life's ambition was to make as much money as possible without having to get up before noon. Thus, I set out to become a writer. I sold my first story to a small horror magazine for five dollars. The check bounced, and I was charged a twenty dollar service fee. Some might have taken that as a sign, but I remembered my motto, Carpe Afternoon, and soldiered on. Since then, I’ve worked as a short order cook, a paramedic, and have delivered pizza while learning to write.

Currently, I live in a house beside a slow-moving river. When I drink, I think about that night Jessica Morgan called and I didn't pick up the phone.

I still refuse to finish Return of the Native.

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